He came to bring the Mourners Joy

For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the Sons of God.

O God, is Your Spirit still with me, that can testify to me that I am Your Child? I look at my Life, and it does not show a true Desire to do Repentance, as You ask of me. I drive away the good Spirit that You give to me as a Guide, and Your heavenly Rules are a heavy Burden. Because my Flesh guides me, I cannot claim true Joy and Rest in God.

You are a highly exalted God who rules Righteously. You send Punishment and Death as the Sinner deserves. But alas, still I reject the Judge and His Judgments. I love Splendor, Majesty, Honour, Lust and Money; the Gifts of the World more than the Giver of the Holy Spirit. I have lost Sight of the true Giver of the Spirit: You, my God.

I think I Love You, and want Your Love in return. But I keep not Your Commandments. I do not bow down under Your Yoke. I cannot give up that which separates me from You. Out of Your great Love for me, You gave Your Son to redeem me. How do I reward You in return? I chase after Evil and forget Your Love.

Oh God, my Conscience is my Witness: it lets me know that I am robbing You of the Soul that You paid such a high Price to redeem. I turn away from the Gifts I should gratefully accept from Your Hand. My Spirit clings to this Earth, and cannot rise to the Source of it’s Being.

Alas, my Heart is corrupted by Vanity. Full of Anger, Deceit and Trickery. Dead to Goodness! Lord the Fault is mine, and not Yours. Father, with Your Grace help me find Mercy and Salvation. My Heart is Contrite. Ease my Mind. Make my Heart to crave Salvation, that brings Forgiveness and Sanctification through Christ’s Wounds and Death.

Let the good Spirit, which I have not felt for so Long, come to me again. Remove the One who wants my Downfall and Death. Keep my Soul from falling into Fear and Distress. Do not let the Multitude of my Sins make me to Despair. A Sinner’s repentance is Your Delight and the Angels rejoice. May Your Good Spirit bear Witness to my Spirit constantly that I am Your Child and Heir. Amen